How can I forgive them?

“They have hurt me so bad that I find it really hard to forgive them – how can someone be so mean?” – you might have had this type of conversation in your head or even with another friend and you are struggling to go past the offense…I know the feeling but if you don’t forgive, you bring death into your life; one way or another. Every now and then people upset us and some hurt so bad that although we want to be good Christians we just find it hard to obey the bible part that says we should forgive at that time – we just really feel like breaking their heads or just be mean to them too! However, we just have to go past our feelings and obey what the word says and forgive one another as well as pray for those who mistreat us! How can we know that we have truly forgiven someone? The best proof or should I say test of true forgiveness, I think, is our ability to sincerely pray from deep down our heart for the success and progress of the person who has offended us – Selah! Due to the differences that exists in our personalities and the way we view things and view life, we are bound to rub off the wrong way on one another, this I believe is why the bible says we should make allowance for one another’s fault and ‘bear’ with one another – Colossians 3:13 (Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.) We are not perfect and come to think of it we really might not be better than the other person; they might make this mistake today but you never know what mistake you will also make tomorrow (Rom 12:3 – For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him). You might think you are the best in your own eyes, but you might not be all that to someone else too. Each day we all fall far short of the glory of God, but God graciously forgives us each time – and we can’t even try to comprehend how many times in the day God forgives us, so who are we not to forgive another fellow imperfect person – no matter how often they offend us?

When we are hurt, we can choose to either stay hurt or take the other route and make a conscious decision to forgive!! The next level to this is to make a decision to even forgive everyone before they offend us – since we know differences occur and that they are human beings after all with imperfections just as I am so they are likely to hurt us!!!

If we choose to forgive, then we attract life!!! If however we choose not to forgive, before long unforgiveness and bottling things up will gradually become part of your life and you will find out that you’re not able to live free – you might feel overwhelmed and generally unhappy about life. Unforgiveness becomes an excess baggage that we carry everywhere and into every relationship. Please note, I don’t minimize what we feel when someone hurts us, and when we forgive it doesn’t make the other person right, it just makes you free! It makes you free to love again, free to live and even free to eat! You have joy unspeakable and peace indescribable!

Forgiveness to me is more like I am tossing it to God’s hands to be the God who knows the truth and who judges fairly as Isaiah 30:18 describes Him to be. We will be blessed if we confess our unforgiveness to God; and pray for Him to deliver us from it. Then we can sit back, and wait for Him to do the right thing while we enjoy His blessings.
This sounds more appealing to me than living in the prison of unforgiveness and suffering the dis-ease it brings into our soul, lives, bodies, and relationships.

You might say what they have done is so grievous and you just can’t forgive them not to talk of letting go. How does a young girl who’s father has sexually abused her all her life and taken her childhood from her forgive that kind of person? How can you forgive a boyfriend who raped you? How can you forgive a friend who stole your husband? How can you forgive a friend who stole your best friend? How can you forgive a best friend who betrayed your trust? How can you forgive a father who killed your mother? How can one show mercy to someone who themself was merciless? How can we forgive when it hurts so bad? I understand all these feelings and we truly cannot fully forgive or show mercy to these kind of people unless we come into the presence of God and understand His complete forgiveness for us.
There’s nothing like the tears of joy and release we feel when we come to that place of complete forgiveness before the Lord and just say ” Lord, I hand this over to you. I let go! I receive your forgiveness and I forgive XXX” It’s life-giving because it revives our whole being! We find peace, healing and total deliverance when we do this. Maybe this is why you are still stuck where you are and have not moved forward?

Remember the bible says in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Even Paul admitted that he had to let go of the past in order to be able to move forward. We cannot get on with our lives, and all that God has for us as long as we are bound and fastened to the past. It’s a past hurt, so let it go! It’s a past failure, so let it go! It’s a past mistake, so let it go! Let go and let God! Make a conscious decision and if need be say it out loud – I forgive XXX or God please help me forgive XXX because what they have done really hurt me, I leave it in your hands and let go! Help me live free!

I pray for you today that bitterness and unforgiveness will not have a place in your heart. I pray that these destructive forces will not become a wall between you and God and hinder your prayers. If unforgiveness has held you bound till now, I pray in the powerful name of Jesus that you will be lose and set free from every unforgiveness in Jesus name. I pray that God will open your eyes to see all the people you need to forgive and you will be bold to do what He’s instructing you to do right now in Jesus name. Amen

Live free in Jesus name!

Scriptures that might help:

Ephesians 4:31-32 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Matt 5:7 – Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy

Matt 5:44-45 – But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

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4 Responses to How can I forgive them?

  1. Pingback: Life Lessons at 25: Forgiveness | YO! It's May...

  2. Lily Mugford says:

    Good word. Forgiveness brings a sweet release. I struggled to forgive, I was so angry when I was betrayed. What he did was criminal and he is in jail, yet I have gained my own freedom through forgiveness.

  3. Pingback: Are You Stuck Behind a Wall? | Lily Mugford

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