I guess many of us wonder how come relationship with this person or that person is just so difficult? You wonder why can’t we just get along and let life just be simple?
I think one vital thing that usually makes relationship so difficult is the expectation we have of each other or the expectations we place on other people. You expect this person or that person to meet your primary needs i.e. Acceptance, Identity, Security, and Purpose for example or you might even expect them to meet other types of needs in your life e.g. emotional, financial, social etc. – usually because of the role/position they occupy in your life e.g. they may be your best friend, husband, family or whatever other positions you’ve placed them in. When they don’t fulfill these expectations, we become disappointed with them and we either voice that out or bottle it in. When we voice it out, sometimes it could lead to undue ‘pressure to perform’ on the other person except if the person is well firmly grounded and they know their identity 100% or it could lead to a break down of that relationship depending on how matured you both are, or if bottled in, could begin some deep rooted strife which will begin to affect how we relate to/with the other person.
The truth of the matter is that our most important relational needs and expectations can only be met by one person and that person is God! Why? The reason is because he’s the one who made us – i.e. knitted together every single fiber of our being! He knows us best and the things that we’re yet to even fully understand about ourselves, He knows them. He knows our weaknesses, He knows our strengths. He knows what’s best for us and He has the master plan of where and what our lives should be anyway. Please hear this one and you might be surprised – He loves us more than we even love ourselves and He always wants to give us the best possible!!! Sometimes we think we need one thing but He knows if we have it, that might hurt us so He looks for ways to give us what’s best for us instead (we don’t usually understand this – we might end up moaning at God). He and He alone can meet our relational needs and expectation and not any man or woman!!! So stop expecting people to do for you what they simply can’t do but instead turn your eyes to the one who can meet our deepest needs i.e. God and just start loving and accepting people the way they are! They are really not obliged to do anything for you no matter who they are or what role/position they occupy in your life. Be thankful for anything anyone does for you and look to God, the one who can truly satisfy all human needs to do the rest!!!
Remember without God our deepest relational needs, expectations, and desires will remain unfulfilled.
Life is too short, so let’s live, love and let others live in peace, harmony and Joy!!!